Friday, December 12, 2014

On the Past

Dear Ginger and Ollie,

So I'm watching some Mad Men and I hear this speech out of Don that really touches a cord with me. It's basically a monologue about how broken a man he is and how he's had to pretend to love his children over the years and how that makes him wonder if his father was pretending to love him. It's a very "Boohoo, I had a bad childhood and that's what made me a shitty person", kind of ordeal.

At first I found myself very much commiserating with Don. I didn't have such a bang up childhood myself. For reasons I don't fully understand, my father wasn't around when I was born. In fact, I didn't meet him until I was seven years old.

I don't really remember having any real longing for a father figure or really feeling particularly curious about why my friends had fathers and I didn't. It was simply a fact of life and I was pretty cool with it. I had my grandmother (Mommom), and I had my mom and, so far as I was concerned, we were content.

I don't really remember the how the timeline unfolded, but in the span of two weeks, I met my father for the first time, my parents got married, and we moved from just south of Philadelphia, to Southern California.

I remember feeling very apprehensive about the man and very protective when it came to my mother. It was a really confusing time for me. I didn't really trust this new person in my life, and I certainly missed Mommom. Looking back it felt a lot like I lost a parent, instead of gained one.

Over the years life kind of devolved from there. I was always afraid of my father, and I did a lot of things to try and avoid his ire. I found school to be a particularly comforting place. I knew I was safe there.

It wasn't a pretty time in my life and I try not to dwell on it, but at the same time, those trials made me who I am. I can look back on those times, and I can find the things I never want to do with you. I never want you to be afraid of me. I never want you to wonder if I love you. That's what I take away from that time.

My father may not have taught me many things, but he did teach me about the man I don't want to be.

I may get frustrated with you over the years and I may be disappointed, but I will always love you. I will never kick you when you're down.  I will never try to deter you from trying new matter how stupid I may think that thing is (so long as it's legal). I will not be your friend, but I will always listen to you.

And I hope that I can be the example for you, that my father never was for me.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

On Politics

Dear Ginger and Ollie,

Guy Fawkes
Today, is the day after your first midterm election here in Texas and politics are riddled with negativity now more then ever. So much so, that you can hardly tell what most candidates would like to accomplish, but it's pretty apparent what their opponents have done "wrong".

Its difficult to make an important decision with such a lack on information. Watching debates is little more then a verbal pissing contest, to see who can come out the least terrible looking.  Instead of talking about current issues, candidates tend to go over the short comings of the person they're standing across from.  Some have even attempted to liken their opposition to the Empire from Star Wars.  Cause apparently we're in elementary school.

So to you I ask...please be an informed and conscientious voter.  Try to tune out all the bullshit that you'll assuredly be bombarded with. As you're probably aware, we live among others that seldom share the views that your mother and I do. It may even be true that you kids don't see things the way we do, and that's okay. So long as you can come to a conclusion on your own through

Above all, make sure that your opinions are your own. Don't let others hold sway over your beliefs.  Make them your own and wear them on your sleeve no matter what the people around you say.  Don't blindly follow anything, not even your mother and I. Try to approach life with your eyes and your mind wide open to new experiences.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Hi there

Hi guys,

Your mother and I have tried to keep up with everything you do over the last couple years, but frankly it's a trial.  You're constantly doing something to either make us proud or mad.  In this case, when I say "mad", I mean crazy.

Cause you're absolutely trying to drive us insane, while simultaneously making us happy.

Every day is a roller day you'll understand.

For now just know that we love you least in a given moment of normal behavior.  By normal I mean you're not screaming at us for something.